As founder of the accredited therapeutic boarding school Greenbrier Academy, L. Jay Mitchell has been leading adolescent programs for more than three decades. Knowledgeable about the unique therapeutic needs of teens and young adults, L. Jay Mitchell trains therapists at Greenbrier in such things as non-judgmental questioning and listening in therapeutic settings.

Judging is an innate trait for humans, but it isn’t beneficial in every situation. This includes counseling settings, where people must develop a non-judgmental listening habit. Such a habit results in fewer misunderstandings between clients and therapists, along with fostering more openness from clients and encouraging the acceptance of new ideas.

Non-judgmental listening is a taught skill that occurs when someone listens instead of fixing. It involves putting personal values and beliefs aside so the speaker’s message comes through clearly and accurately without personal influence.

Achieving this listening skill starts with active listening. Active listeners focus on what the speaker is saying and ignore distractions, like the phone. Further, non-judgmental listeners stay calm while listening. Seeing the body tense up or move in a certain way makes the speaker feel judged and results in a shutdown of communication.

Also, listeners must address their personal state of mind. This means reflecting on their mood, and accurately determining that they are capable of listening calmly and openly without judgement.